Let’s Get Something Straight
Look, I’ve been in this game for over 20 years. I’ve seen branding trends come and go. And honestly? Most of it’s garbage.
I remember back in 2004, this guy Marcus—let’s call him Marcus—told me, “Branding is all about storytelling.” I nodded along, but honestly, I had no idea what he was talking about. (Which, yeah. Fair enough. I was kinda new.)
Fast forward to today. Everyone’s talking about “brand voice” and “authenticity.” It’s like we’re all trying to out-quote each other with some profound bullshit we read on Twitter.
Here’s the Thing
Branding isn’t about being “authentic.” It’s not about storytelling. It’s not even about being “on brand” all the time. It’s about being memorable. It’s about standing out. It’s about being so damn clear that even your grandma knows what you’re selling.
I was at a conference in Austin last year. Some “expert” was talking about the “tapestry” of branding. (Seriously? Who talks like that?) I turned to my colleague, Dave, and said, “Dave, if I hear ‘tapestry’ one more time, I’m gonna scream.” And I meant it.
Dave laughed and said, “You’re just frustrated because you know he’s full of it.” And he was right. I was frustrated. Because here’s this guy, up on stage, spouting nonsense, and everyone’s eating it up like it’s the gospel.
Let’s Talk About Logos
Logos are important. But not for the reasons you think. It’s not about being “minimalist” or “timeless.” It’s about being recognizable. It’s about being able to slap your logo on something and have people go, “Oh, that’s [Your Brand].”
I had a client once—let’s call him Greg—who spent $87,000 on a logo. EIGHTY SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. For a logo. And it was… fine. It was just fine. It wasn’t memorable. It wasn’t recognizable. It was just… there.
Greg was so proud of it, though. He kept talking about the “aquisition” process and the “determing” factors they considered. (Yeah, I corrected his grammar. He didn’t care.)
I tried to tell him, “Greg, a logo is just a symbol. It’s not your brand. It’s not your committment to quality. It’s just a symbol.” But he wasn’t having it. He was in love with his “timeless” design.
Social Media Isn’t the Answer
Social media is a tool. It’s not the be-all, end-all of branding. It’s not going to save your business. It’s not going to make you famous. It’s just a tool.
I had a friend—let’s call her Lisa—who spent three months trying to “build her personal brand” on Instagram. She posted every day. She used all the right hashtags. She even hired a “social media strategist” (which honestly nobody asked for but here we are). And you know what happened? Nothing.
Lisa was devastated. She thought if she just posted enough, if she just used the right filters, if she just… did alot of stuff, she’d become some kind of influencer. But it didn’t work. Because social media isn’t a magic bullet. It’s a tool. And like any tool, it’s only as good as the person using it.
I told Lisa, “You’re not gonna become an influencer by posting pictures of your lunch. You’re gonna become an influencer by being interesting. By having something to say.” But she didn’t want to hear it. She was too busy chasing likes.
Here’s What You Should Do
First, forget about being “on brand” all the time. It’s exhausting. And it’s not necessary. People don’t expect you to be perfect. They expect you to be real.
Second, focus on being memorable. On standing out. On being so damn clear that even your grandma knows what you’re selling. If you can do that, you’re already ahead of 90% of the competition.
Third, don’t waste your time and money on stuff that doesn’t matter. Like logos. Or social media strategists. Or whatever the hell a “brand tapestry” is.
And finally, if you’re gonna talk about sustainability, make it real. Don’t just slap a green leaf on your logo and call it a day. Actually do something. Like, I don’t know, check out sürdürülebilir yaşam pratik ipuçları or something. (Which honestly nobody asked for but here we are.)
Look, I’m not saying I have all the answers. I’m just saying I’ve seen alot of garbage. And I’m tired of it. So do better. Be better. And for the love of god, stop talking about tapestries.
Oh, and One More Thing
I’m not sure why, but I’ve been thinking alot about physicaly going to the gym lately. I mean, I know it’s good for me. I know I should do it. But honestly, I’d rather sit on my couch and eat pizza. So yeah. That’s where I’m at right now.
Anyway, that’s all I’ve got. I’m gonna go eat some pizza now.
About the Author
I’m Sarah. I’ve been a senior magazine editor for over 20 years. I’ve worked with some of the biggest names in the industry, and I’ve seen it all. I’m opinionated, I’m blunt, and I don’t suffer fools gladly. If you want fluff, you’ve come to the wrong place. If you want the truth, well, you might not like it, but at least it’s honest.
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