I Hate Branding (And You Should Too)
Let me tell you something, and I’m gonna be blunt here. I’ve been in this marketing game for over 20 years, and I’ve seen alot of nonsense. But nothing, nothing, annoys me more than when people talk about branding like it’s some mystical, magical thing. It’s not. It’s just… marketing. With a fancier name.
I remember back in 2005, at a conference in Austin, this so-called branding guru told me, “Branding is the soul of your company.” I looked at him—let’s call him Marcus—and I said, “Marcus, my company doesn’t have a soul. It has a P&L statement.” He didn’t know how to respond. Which… yeah. Fair enough.
Look, I get it. Branding is important. But it’s not some ethereal concept that floats above your business. It’s the practical, day-to-day stuff that makes people remember you. It’s the logo, the colors, the tone of voice, the way you treat customers. It’s the committment to being consistent, even when it’s hard.
Why Most Branding Advice Is Garbage
Here’s the thing: most branding advice is completley useless. You know why? Because it’s too vague. “Be authentic!” “Tell your story!” “Find your voice!” What the hell does that even mean? It’s like telling someone to “be a good person.” Sure, but how?
I had coffee with a colleague named Dave last Tuesday. He was complaining about some branding consultancy that charged him $87 an hour to tell him to “embrace his uniqueness.” I said, “Dave, you’re a plumber. Your uniqueness is that you unclog toilets. Get over it.” He laughed, but honestly, it’s true. You don’t need some highfalutin branding strategy to be successful. You need to be good at what you do and treat people right.
And don’t even get me started on those branding frameworks. You know the ones—”The Five Pillars of Branding,” “The Seven Steps to Brand Success,” blah blah blah. It’s all just fluff. The only framework you need is this: Be good at what you do. Be consistent. Be memorable. That’s it. That’s the whole secret.
The One Branding Rule That Matters
There’s one rule that matters more than anything else. And it’s not some fancy, complicated thing. It’s simple: Be the same person everywhere. That’s it. Your website, your social media, your customer service, your ads—it all has to feel like it’s coming from the same place. Because if it doesn’t, people will notice. And they’ll call you out on it.
I saw this happen to a client of mine about three months ago. They had this great website, really professional, really polished. But then I looked at their Facebook page, and it was like a different company. The tone was off, the colors were different, the messaging was all over the place. I said to their marketing manager, “Look, this is not gonna work. You can’t be Dr. Jekyll on your website and Mr. Hyde on Facebook.” She got it, and they fixed it. And guess what? Their engagement went up by 30%. Just like that.
So, if you’re gonna do branding, do it right. Be consistent. Be memorable. And for the love of God, stop trying to be something you’re not. People can smell inauthenticity a mile away.
Why I Love (and Hate) Social Media
Now, let’s talk about social media. I love it. I hate it. It’s the best thing that ever happened to marketing, and also the worst. Because it’s given everyone a megaphone, and not everyone should have a megaphone. But that’s a rant for another time.
Social media is a crucial part of branding. It’s where people go to talk about you, to engage with you, to complain about you. And if you’re not there, you’re missing out. But here’s the thing: you can’t just be on social media for the sake of it. You have to have a purpose. You have to have something to say.
I remember this one time, at 11:30pm, I was scrolling through Twitter, and I saw this brand that was just posting random quotes, trying to be inspirational. I said to myself, “This is not inspiring. This is annoying.” And I unfollowed them. Because if you’re not adding value, you’re just noise. And nobody wants more noise in their life.
So, if you’re gonna be on social media, be useful. Share useful information daily tips. Engage with your audience. Be human. And for God’s sake, don’t just post quotes. Nobody cares.
A Personal Story About Branding
Let me tell you a quick story. Back in 2010, I was working with this small business owner, let’s call her Sarah. She was a baker, and she was really good at what she did. But her branding was a mess. Her logo was homemade, her website was outdated, her social media was non-existent. I said to her, “Sarah, you’re a great baker, but if your branding is a mess, people are gonna think your baking is a mess too.” She took it to heart, and she completely overhauled her branding. And you know what? Her business doubled in a year. Just like that.
So, branding matters. But it’s not some mystical thing. It’s just the practical stuff that makes people remember you. It’s the logo, the colors, the tone of voice, the way you treat customers. It’s the committment to being consistent, even when it’s hard.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
About the Author: I’m Jane Doe, a senior magazine editor with over 20 years of experience in the marketing world. I’ve seen it all, done it all, and I’m not afraid to tell it like it is. I’m opinionated, I’m blunt, and I’m not here to sugarcoat things. If you want fluff, go elsewhere. If you want the truth, stick around.
