I Hate the Word ‘Branding’
Look, I’ve been in this game for 22 years. I’ve seen trends come and go. And honestly? I’m tired of the word ‘branding’. It’s become this vague, overused buzzword that marketers throw around like confetti at a parade. (Which, by the way, nobody actually likes. Have you ever been hit in the face with confetti? It’s terrible.)
But here’s the thing: I get it. Branding matters. It’s just… yeah. The way people talk about it makes me want to scream into a pillow.
Back in the Day, It Was Simpler
Let me take you back to 1999. I was working at a tiny agency in Seattle. We didn’t have ‘brand strategists’ or ‘brand architects’. We just had people who knew how to tell a good story. We’d sit around with clients, drink terrible coffee, and figure out how to make their business sound less boring. That was branding. No fancy terms, no 50-page decks. Just honest, hard work.
Fast forward to today. Now, every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a laptop calls themselves a ‘brand consultant’. And they all want to sell you some magic pill that’ll make your brand ‘pop’.
Let’s Talk About Marcus
About three months ago, I met a guy at a conference in Austin. Let’s call him Marcus. Marcus told me he could ‘elevate my brand’s narrative’ for $12,000. I asked him what that even meant. He said, ‘It’s about finding your brand’s unique voice and amplifying it across all touchpoints.’
Which… yeah. Fair enough. But then he started talking about ‘synergistic brand aquisition’ and ‘quantum brand engagement’. I zoned out. I mean, come on. Nobody talks like that in real life.
The Truth About Branding
Here’s the brutal truth: branding is about consistency. It’s about showing up every day and doing the work. It’s not about some fancy logo or a catchy tagline. It’s about making sure every email, every social post, every customer interaction feels like it’s coming from the same place.
And you know what? Sometimes, that means using a office supplies comparison review to make sure your swag is on point. I’m not kidding. I had a client last year who spent $87 on cheap pens. Guess what happened? Those pens leaked all over important documents. That’s not consistency. That’s a disaster.
A Quick Digression: The Power of a Good Pen
Speaking of pens, let me tell you about Dave. Dave’s a colleague of mine. He’s got this weird obsession with pens. He says a good pen can make or break a meeting. I thought he was nuts. Then, last Tuesday, I used his fancy pen to sign a contract. The client noticed. ‘Nice pen,’ he said. We talked about it for 10 minutes. We closed the deal that day.
So yeah, maybe Dave’s onto something. Maybe the little things do matter. Maybe branding is about the pens you use, the coffee you serve, the way you answer the phone. I don’t know. I’m just throwing ideas out there.
Social Media Isn’t a Magic Wand
And while we’re on the subject of brutal truths, let’s talk about social media. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a client say, ‘We need to be on TikTok.’ Okay, sure. Why? ‘Because everyone’s there.’ That’s not a strategy. That’s a recipe for disaster.
Social media is a tool. It’s not a magic wand. It’s not gonna fix a broken business model. It’s not gonna make up for bad products or poor customer service. It’s just another channel. Treat it like one.
I had a client once who spent $214 on a Facebook ad. She expected miracles. She got three likes. She was pissed. I told her, ‘You can’t just throw money at it and hope for the best.’ She didn’t like that. But it’s true.
SEO: The Never-Ending Story
And let’s not forget about SEO. Oh, SEO. You beautiful, frustrating beast. I’ve spent 36 hours of my life explaining to clients that SEO isn’t a one-time thing. It’s not something you do and then forget about. It’s a committment. A long-term, never-ending, always-changing committment.
I remember sitting with a client in 2005. We were talking about keywords. She wanted to rank for ‘best pizza in New York’. I told her, ‘That’s not how this works.’ She didn’t believe me. She hired some shady SEO guy who promised her the moon. He delivered nothing. She lost $5,000. She learned her lesson.
SEO is about relevance. It’s about providing value. It’s about being the best answer to a question. It’s not about tricks or hacks or whatever the latest ‘guru’ is selling.
What Now?
So where do we go from here? I don’t know. Maybe we stop chasing trends. Maybe we focus on the basics. Maybe we remember that marketing is about people. It’s about connecting with real, live human beings who have problems to solve and stories to share.
Maybe we stop trying to be everything to everyone. Maybe we find our niche and own it. Maybe we stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and just do our thing.
I don’t have all the answers. I’m just a guy who’s been around the block a few times. I’ve seen what works and what doesn’t. I’ve seen the fads come and go. I’ve seen the clients who get it and the ones who don’t.
So here’s my advice: Be consistent. Be authentic. Be patient. And for the love of god, invest in a good pen.
About the Author: Jane Doe is a senior editor with over 20 years of experience in the marketing industry. She’s worked with everyone from startups to Fortune 500 companies, and she’s not afraid to call out bad ideas when she sees them. When she’s not writing, you can find her complaining about bad coffee or trying to explain the Oxford comma to people who don’t care.
