I’m Tired of Pretending I Know What’s Going On
Look, I’ve been in this marketing game for 22 years. That’s right, since the days of dial-up and you know what—let’s not dwell on the past. But honestly, I’m tired. Tired of the jargon, tired of the so-called experts, and frankly, tired of pretending I know what’s gonna work and what’s not.
I was at a conference in Austin last month, right? Some guy—let’s call him Marcus—stands up and starts talking about ‘synergistic paradigm shifts’ or whatever. I turned to my colleague, Dave, and said, ‘What the hell does that even mean?’ And Dave, bless his heart, just shrugged. That’s when I realized: we’re all just making it up as we go along.
My First Big Lesson in Marketing Bullshit
It was 1999, and I was fresh out of college. I got a job at this tiny agency in Chicago. My boss, Linda, was a force of nature. One day, she dragged me into a meeting with a client—a local bakery—and said, ‘We need to pivot their brand narrative.’ I had no idea what that meant. None. I think I nodded and smiled, though. Classic.
Linda turned to me and said, ‘Sarah, what’s your take?’ And I, being the brilliant newbie I was, said, ‘I think we should, like, make their logo bigger?’ Linda stared at me. The client stared at me. It was awful. But you know what? That logo change worked. The bakery’s sales went up by 18%. Sometimes, it’s just that simple.
The Problem With ‘Experts’
Here’s the thing about marketing experts: they love to complicate stuff. Why say ‘increase engagement’ when you can say ‘leverage multi-channel touchpoints to drive user interaction metrics’? It’s all the same thing, people. And honestly, it’s exhausting.
I had lunch with an old friend last Tuesday—let’s call him Greg. He’s one of those SEO guys, you know the type. He starts going on about ‘algorithm aquisition’ and ‘content committment’. I interrupted him and said, ‘Greg, just say what you mean. Nobody understands what you’re talking about.’ He laughed and said, ‘You’re right, Sarah. I’m just trying to sound smart.’
Why We Need to Stop Overcomplicating Things
Marketing doesn’t have to be this complicated. Sometimes, it’s just about talking to people and giving them what they want. But no, we have to make it this big, scary thing. And honestly, it’s doing more harm than good.
I read this study—okay, fine, I skimmed it—about three months ago. It said that 78% of people don’t trust ads. 78%! And we wonder why. It’s because we’re too busy trying to trick them with fancy words and flashy graphics. We need to stop. Just stop.
A Quick Story About a Billboard
So, there’s this billboard in Las Vegas. It’s for a casino, and it’s just a big picture of a slot machine with the words ‘Win Big!’ underneath. No fancy graphics, no complicated taglines. Just a picture and some text. And you know what? It works. People see it, they think, ‘Hey, I wanna win big!’ and they go to the casino. It’s simple. It’s effective. And it’s honest.
But no, we can’t just do that. We have to overthink it. We have to make it ‘more engaging’ or ‘more innovative’. And in the process, we lose sight of what actually works.
The Importance of Being Human
Here’s the thing: people are human. We’re all just trying to get through the day. We don’t wanna be tricked or manipulated. We wanna be talked to like human beings. And that’s what marketing should be about.
I was at a coffee shop last week—you know the one on 5th—and I overheard this guy talking about his marketing strategy. He was going on about ‘targeting micro-moments’ and ‘optimizing user journeys’. I turned to him and said, ‘Dude, just talk to people. Be nice. Give them something they wanna buy.’ He looked at me like I was crazy. But you know what? He’s probably still out there, trying to ‘optimize user journeys’.
Let’s Talk About Failure
We’re all gonna fail. It’s gonna happen. But you know what? That’s okay. Failure is how we learn. It’s how we grow. But we’re so afraid of it that we’d rather hide behind jargon and buzzwords than admit that we don’t know what we’re doing.
I failed alot in my career. Like, alot alot. But each time, I learned something new. And that’s what marketing should be about—learning, growing, and talking to people like human beings.
A Quick Digression About Politics
So, I was reading about Las Vegas council decisions this week—yeah, I know, I need a hobby—and it got me thinking. Politicians are just like marketers. They love to complicate things. They love to use big words and make everything seem more complicated than it is. And honestly, it’s annoying. We need to cut through the bullshit and just talk to each other like human beings.
But I digress. Back to marketing.
The Future of Marketing
I’m not sure what the future holds for marketing. I mean, I have my opinions, but honestly, who knows? Maybe we’ll all be replaced by robots. Maybe we’ll finally learn to talk to people like human beings. Maybe we’ll just keep making it up as we go along.
But here’s what I do know: we need to stop overcomplicating things. We need to stop hiding behind jargon and buzzwords. And we need to start talking to people like human beings. Because at the end of the day, that’s what marketing is all about.
So, let’s make a pact, you and I. Let’s promise to be more human in our marketing. Let’s promise to talk to people like, you know, people. And let’s promise to stop making everything so damn complicated.
Deal?
About the Author: Sarah Johnson is a senior magazine editor with 22 years of experience in the marketing industry. She’s worked with major publications and has seen it all—good, bad, and ugly. She’s here to tell it like it is, no matter how unpopular her opinions might be. When she’s not writing, she’s probably complaining about something or eating tacos. You can find her on Twitter @sarahjohnson or at her website, reputationsos.com.
